A Letter to Moderate Conservatives.

Dear Delusional Delinquents,

I’ve been had. I’ve been hoodwinked. The sense was embezzled from our cooperative operations by primary voters, while the moderates denied it was happening, an accounting glitch. Nothing to worry about. I believed you, believed that you knew your party better than I did. You tricked me and I let you and I’m hurt and betrayed.

You’ve whipped up rage and fear mongered and blamed and shamed and shunned and this is what we are now, this is real and I want desperately to be more surprised by it. You nutcases were supposed to be few and far between. But there were millions and millions and millions of you. Millions of people wearing teabags on their heads for strict Constitutionalism while cheering the end of religious freedom. Cheering the end of freedom of press, freedom to assemble.

It didn’t even seem worth talking about, low hanging fruit. Now we have to take this entertainer’s hot air and distill it into practice. What will happen when we pour it over ourselves? How badly will it burn us? On Day 1, this deflating whoopie cushion says, he’ll be at his own gaudy resort in Florida working to deport “immigrants” (he doesn’t specify legal/illegal anymore) and “get rid of Muslims” (terrifying) – this is the person who will control our nuclear arsenal.

A person whose reaction to silent disagreement is siccing mass violence on the dissenters, gleefully ramping up the bodily damage. He’d have the button.

A guy who turned a debate over the future of our country into an actual dick measuring contest, he’s carrying the nuclear football for your team.

What have you done?

Do you see what you’ve earned with your dog-whistle racism and unbridled contempt for the less fortunate? What you created when you shouted down higher education and underfunded schools, capitalizing on meaningless folksy charm? Where you were leading us when you blustered over foreign policy in the name of “strength” like an ordinary Bud Light addled bar fighter? Are you repentant now with your monster, this willful Golem of your secret prejudice, running amok?

Reasonable Republicans wherever, if ever, you exist, now you have November. You have November to prove that “Conservative” can’t be bought with bigotry and that you’re smart enough to know good business isn’t gilded bankruptcy. You have November to prove that “family” is too valuable to break apart in mass deportations and that “life” is too precious to end just because it’s different than you. You have November to prove you don’t go slack jawed for wealth and fame. You have November to prove you stand for the weak. You have November to prove this isn’t you:


Nazi German Fuhrer Adolf Hitler (L) celebrating Harvest Day festival w. massive crowd of adoring Germans pressing forward to greet their idol. TIME Magazine


Be better people in November.